Read time: 14 mins

(This is a special series of my newsletter – the eighth in a series of posts sharing insights, tips, and actions that you can implement when you are searching for a job either to leave your current one, or due to a recent layoff. The principles in the following series can be largely applied to both situations and adapted to your specific scenario. Best of luck in your journey!)

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Your network is your net worth. 💰️

While some are born with a silver spoon and a network from mommy and daddy –

Others earn the respect of their networks over time.

And here’s the good news:

everyone has a valuable network.

The key is knowing what to do to build, maintain, and grow it.

One of the first group of relationships I developed was during my time at Chuck E. Cheese’s. 🐭

(Yes, there were times I had to be Chucky Cheese)

At the time we were just a group of high school kids hosting parties and fixing the coin machines…

…but today you can find us across a number of industries and professions.

Knowing “big time people” in your network is one thing.

But that isn’t the actual value of the network.

True value of relationships is when someone will respond to your message and help you out even after 15 years.

Especially in the world of social media, it isn’t hard to have over 1,000 connections.

But ask yourself this:

How many people do you know will respond if you reached out for a favor?

Over the next 9 minutes I’m going to share the tactics that you can use to help you reconnect, grow, and maintain relationships in your network.

How to Build Your Personal and Professional Network

Reconnecting with Past Relationships

Believe it or not, you are probably sitting on a gold mine of relationships.

Most of the time we take the connections we have with others for granted…

…and simply forget about them.

But they were there all along – and are easier to re-engage with that you might think.

Organizations & Associations

As we grow up, we naturally are associated with a number of organizations.

Even before I left my small town for college –

I had a network amongst my church, high school sports, and a school organization called DECA.

Reconnecting with people in these groups was one of the easiest ways because we already had a common interest.

Leverage that when you reach out and connect.

“Hey, it’s been so long! I still think about that championship game we played in high school. How you been!?”

Education System (K-12, University, & Trade Schools)

During our time in the education system…

…there are a lot of opportunities to meet people.

Keeping in touch with them is usually the hard part since everyone goes their own path afterwards.

But there is another huge opportunity you can leverage here:

alumni!

Even those you may have never met before.

But Nick, that only works if you go to an ivy league school.

Sure those are the networks that people shell out $250k over four years for access…

…but every school has a network of alumni. Cold outreach to a 2nd degree connection that was also a SJSU Alumnus. They referred me to the role within a few hours after our initial conversation.

At any given point there are 25,000+ student attending my alma mater, San Jose State University.

Considering the University was founded in 1857 – there are a lot of alumni.

People want to help others that had taken a similar path to themselves.

Colleagues (Past & Present)

If there is one thing that I am known for at work –

it’s that I’m a social butterfly. 🦋

It’s actually super intentional.

When I am at a company, I am meeting everyone.

It doesn’t matter if they work directly with me.

Or on a team that I’ll never overlap with.

You are often spending most of your waking hours with these folks…

…so might as well get to know them!

It also makes working just generally more exciting when you are able to find others that have similar interests as you.

I typically add people that I meet at work on LinkedIn after our first meeting.

But, I also know there are others that do it when they leave a job.

The key is to find a way to keep connected either via email or a social media platform.

You never know when they might be hiring in the future for a role that is perfect for you…

…or working at a company that you would love a referral to.

When you’re looking to reconnect with your past colleagues think back to those that you naturally felt a connection with.

If you haven’t already connected with them in some way – find them on Facebook or LinkedIn.

Most likely they will also remember you. 🙂

Friends & Family

This one we can keep short.

Friends and family.

Who would be a better group of individuals that would be willing to help you out?

Your mom, dad, sister, brother, and close friends all have networks of their own…

…and will be more than willing to help out with a referral or introduction.

They want to see you succeed!

Seems pretty straight forward…

…but this network I see people forget the most!

Growing Your Network

Basically a fancy way of saying – meeting new people.

That might be over simplifying it.

But you get the gist of it.

There are two types of connections you can pursue when growing your network: warm or cold.

A warm connection is usually when there is an intermediary to help broker the connections.

I used the term “intermediary” because it may be a person, place, or event.

A cold connection is when two people are meeting with either no prior relationship or reason to bring them together.

So in that scenario – you’ll have have to find that reason to bring you both together.

Introductions or Referrals (Warm Connection)

There are two ways to go about looking for introductions or referrals.

You can either do it organically or directly.

Organic Growth

When you are catching up with people in your network, you will naturally discuss opportunities or areas of interests.

Naturally, they might know someone that would be a good fit for you.

Sure, this could be for a job…

…but it could also be for hobbies, passions, and interests.

Any time someone thinks that I should meet someone – I take them up on it!

I trust that there must have been some reason that they made the connection in their mind to connect us.

Direct Growth

This is a more intentional strategy when looking for introductions or referrals…

…and has become some what of a norm on platforms like LinkedIn.

If there is a job opportunity or someone you are interested to meet – LinkedIn will tell you who in your network has a some connection with them.

This is different than with the organic method where the introduction being driven by someone else.

With the direct approach you are taking the initiative to request the introduction.

That seems sort of self-serving.

It is.

That is why it’s important to maintain relationships with people.

You never want to be someone that just “takes takes takes.”

You too need to provide value to others.

That is the cornerstone of any mutually benefiting relationship.

Be transparent, be genuine, and in most cases – skip the small talk.

The Golden Rule: For every one favor you ask of someone – return the favor with at least 2x the value.

Participate in Organizations or Events (Warm to Cold Connection)

There are organizations and events that people attend with the intention to meet other people.

You can find local ones on places like Eventbrite or MeetUp.

I’ve even found some groups that help organization meetings through Facebook Groups.

It’ll take a little time to get your bearings on the events…

…but once you start to connect with people “in the know,” you’ll unlock a flywheel of future events.

When I moved up to the Seattle area, I had no idea how to get involved in the technology startup world.

I started by researching known organizations in the city, such as venture capital firms.

There was one firm that actively hosted events.

I went to one…

…then another…

…and another.

Before I knew it there was a snowball effect of people that I was able to meet, learn about opportunities, and be plugged in to any other invite-only events!

You can do the same for your industry or profession.

Start with the larger organizations as they have the resources to host the events, newsletters, and webinars.

Sign-up to be included on their distribution lists.

Attend the meetings.

In person, if possible.

Nothing breaks the ice and builds a relationship faster than face-to-face conversations.

100% Cold Outreach

Have you ever seen someone on LinkedIn you want to reach out to but have absolutely nothing in common?

I know I have…

…you aren’t alone here.

There are plenty of times that I’ve had to go this route – especially after moving to Seattle, Washington.

The events were great, but there were only so many events happening each week that I could go to.

I needed to go faster!

After 25+ years in the San Francisco Bay Area…

…I had near zero connections in Seattle.

I had to start somewhere.

But I used that fact to my advantage.

“Hey there! I just moved to the Seattle area and was looking to connect with other professionals in the area. Would you be open to a 15-min chat?”

That opening line led not only a 15-min chat…

…but multiple introductions to others in their networks and even job opportunities.

I found that being transparent and honest with people goes a long way to create genuine relationships.

Not everyone is going to respond – that is okay.

Set your personal expectations that for every 50 people you reach out to that 1 person will accept to connect.

Try different messages.

Every message should be an opportunity to learn how you can improve your messaging…

…and then double down on what works.

Before you know it – you’ll be able to hit 1 out of every 3 messages.

You are a cold outreach pro! 💪

Maintaining Relationships in Your Network

You’ve spent the time and energy to meet new people…

…now you have to keep the relationship warm.

Relationships are either growing or dying.

And if you wait too long – someone you once knew will become just another stranger.

Fortunately in today’s world of social media…

…keeping in touch is easier than ever!

Let’s dive into a few simple things that can keep YOU top of mind of those in your network.

Birthdays, Anniversaries, & Throwbacks (Low Effort)

Name your social media and they are actively giving us prompts to engage with our network.

Upcoming birthday?

Here it is.

Posted a picture from 12 years ago together?

Take another look.

In the past it felt like everyone would engage with them – that’s why they are there – but today they are less used.

Use them!

Even a simple “like” will at least bring your name back into their feed.

Half the effort of the being remembered is just staying top of mind.

But I wouldn’t stop there.

Use the prompt to start a conversation directly with them.

Screenshot it.

Share it.

Start a conversation with it – this is your ice breaker!

When sending your comment – make sure to include an open-ended question with it.

Saying “Happy Birthday!” is a nice gesture.

But will only be met with a “Thanks!”

Feel free to check-in with the person – specifics matter.

“I saw that you recently started a new job, how are you liking it?”

I like to think catching up with others is like a muscle.

The more you do it, the more natural it’ll come to you.

Responding to Life Events (Medium Effort)

When someone shares something with their audience…

…you must remember that there is some significance of it to them.

They didn’t share it just because.

Last week, someone that I went to college with started posting about a renovation that he was working on.

Pictures of a new kitchen in the works and an updated bathroom.

I could have swiped through…

…or comment on it.

I found out that they were getting into real estate investing, and this was one of their recent investments.

I too have gotten into real estate investing over the years which was something neither of us had even thought of when we used to hang out over 10 years ago!

We were able to use that like interest to start catching up again and spark a relationship that had started to fade over time.

These are the type of small events and small conversations that will keep relationships going throughout the years.

The Art of Small Talk – Cold Message to Conversation (High Effort)

The first two strategies heavily leverage social media…

…but what do you do when there isn’t social media?

You can’t use a convenient prompt or a recent post to start a conversation.

There are two activities that I often do to keep in touch with these people in my network.

First, national holidays.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years are probably the easiest of the holidays to send someone a message and wish them the best.

Just like when wishing someone a “Happy Birthday” this can fall flat if you don’t inquire about anything else.

But it’s an ice breaker that you can use to start a text conversation…

…or if you’re bold – a phone call.

Second, a random text message.

Yes, out of the blue message just to start a conversation with someone.

I’ll literally just go scroll through my phone contacts once a month and see who I haven’t connected with in a while.

Then I’ll shoot them a message.

For some that I’ve done this in the past – I’ll literally make it “my thing” and use that as my opener.

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💡 Action Steps

Remember: A strong network takes time, repetition, and willingness to step outside your comfort zone. Reaching out to others can feel uncomfortable at the start but will get easier over time.

🔁 Reconnect (10 mins). You are sitting on a gold mine of relationship that you’ve already put in the time and effort into. Now it’s time to warm those relationships back up!

1. Create a list of all past organization, associations, schools, etc.
2. Under each item you listed above, create a list of people you had a past relationship with
3. Find each of these people on social media platforms, email, or within your phone’s contacts
4. Reach out to them!

🌱 Grow (10 mins). Finding networks online can be faster and more scalable, but I would challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and meet people in person. I found that these relationships tend to go a lot further than ones made solely online:

1. Start with creating a list of the larger organizations and associations in your industry.
2. Sign-up to be included on their distribution lists for their events and newsletters.
3. Attend an in-person event.
4. Make it your goal to meet and connect with at least 5 people during the event. You should exchange LinkedIn profiles.
5. Bonus: If you met someone that is actually a good fit – schedule a follow-up meeting to continue building the relationship!

👋 Maintain (Ongoing). Open whichever social media you use and navigate to the section that mentions life events (like birthdays) in your network. For anyone that had an event in the past week, use that to start a conversation with – ideally in a direct message.

Need additional openers? Scroll through your feed and use recent posts someone might have published as your ice-breaker to reconnect.

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📚 Other Notable Resources

• Last Week’s Post: Top 3 Tips for How to Find Job Opportunities Faster
• Read the Full Guide: The ultimate 5-step guide how to get job interviews and job offers after being laid off
• Free Resource: Resume Templates